Still in shock

Wow, life throws some curve balls sometimes. I don't feel like doing anything right now. I don't want to pack my suitcase. I just want to do nothing! I am still in utter shock. I am still trying to convince myself that we need to drive 14 hours to go to Texas. But I honestly do need to be there for my aunt. It was her only son who is gone. It was a murder-suicide. No one can believe it. He was not someone anyone would EVER think could do something so horrible and unthinkable. I wish he could have reached out to someone. Anytime he ever said what he was going through we all swept it under the rug and assumed he would make everything work out. He was having marriage problems, stresses of moving, stresses of a new baby, stresses of being downsized in June. It was a terrible situation all around, but he always seemed so confident, funny, strong, highly intelligent, and self knowing.

Cliff (my hubby) played and chatted on WoW on-line with him up until the last month when my cousin and his family moved twice looking for work.

Cliff stayed with him for a few months when Cliff got a job in Austin in 2000 and I had to sell our Iowa house. We always stayed with him when we went to town. He was always so gracious and kind to us. He flew us to Aruba for our 5th wedding ann. He flew to Iowa for our wedding. He was always there for us.

The kids are still asleep. Cliff is going to be helping me a lot today. So grateful for him being home. I have been on the phone with family this morning. My aunt was doing well overall. She has a lot of support. Her boss gave her the keys to her Mercedes and handed her $200 to use on her drive from Austin to Houston today. My aunt told me the story is on the front page of the Houston Chronicle--he just moved there. This was not a premeditated event. My aunt and I talked about what they were going through. He will be greatly missed.

Love to all!

~Heather