Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Learning and growing as a mother of boys

Being the mother of two very busy boys with minds of their own is making me grow and think in ways I never dreamed possible. I have so much to learn from them and so much to learn about what it is to be a mother. Every day I am facing new challenges as a mother. I was in tears yesterday, and at a really low point. There are days that I am worried for the safety of my youngest. He is at a very busy age and scary age at times. He wants to be independent on some moments and at other times he needs me more than ever. He is learning about the world around him and some dangers. We've had moments of sheer panic because he is screaming and we are not sure how badly he is hurt. It is constant learning and finding a happy place. I am still having to remind myself I have to be happy where we are now. Life will always have its ups and downs. He is a really neat person and I have to look past all the chaos, messy learning, and loudness of his age. He is constantly making little boy sounds. He is full of life and energy. I have to keep reminding myself how important it is for him to be himself. He hates shoes. He prefers to go without a shirt or clothes at all, if possible. It is all part of being four and completely alive and excited about life. I've never met someone so alive and full of enthusiasm. My oldest son was much the same way, but he was completely misunderstood at times. I hope I didn't squash too much of his spark. He is still full of life, but being the oldest had its challenges. If I knew all I know now as a mother of two boys, I would have done so many things different with my oldest. I adore him and am so proud of him. We are all doing a lot of growing and learning here. We make a lot of mistakes. But we are trying and mostly loving being in this moment with our two guys.

Love to all and much peace.


P.S. Holden does not like having his photo taken. He said I take too many pictures. He is right. LOL.

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