Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Trusting Holden

Not many 4 1/2 year olds would be trusted at the wheel of a boat. We trust Holden and so did the man who let him stear this pontoon boat during our neighborhood summer party last month. We guided Holden when needed and trusted him. When he was first born this was a terrbily difficult concept: To Trust a child. I wanted to control everything and thought it was my job. Well 4 1/2 years later I can see I still have a long way to go where Holden is concerned, but I am trying. It comes easier with Camden because we had a better start and our relationship is different.

I'm not saying I am a horrible mother or a very controlling mother to Holden. It's just different with him. I am still learning to trust him about things I tried to regulate for him like meal times, potty times, food desires, naps, and bedtimes. I'm getting better though and I am trusting him more with some of these things. But becaue I have tried to control him so long about bedtimes that is a hard one for him to self regulate because he would stay up very late and be cranky the next day. If I had never tried to control him in the first place he would probably just ask to go to bed like Camden does. We live and learn! He stays up a lot later than most 4 year olds do though and he is plenty tired at bedtime since he usually doesn't take naps. His eyes are red and burning at night.

He is a great kid though. He does a lot of things that make me laugh outloud and he is so sweet most of the time. The afternoon after the pow wow Holden was looking out the front window at our van. He pointed and said lights were on inside. As hard as I looked I saw nothing. I was doubtful they were on because I didn't go anywhere all day in the van. If any lights were on from the night before someone would have seen it sooner. Plus my battery would have died by then and there would be no lights. He kept insisting and pointing trying to explain where in the car to look. So I put my shoes on and went out into the cool air and dreary evening. I couldn't see any lights on from the passenger side. So I went around and got into the driver seat. I looked over my shoulder and sure enough two dome lights were on!

What was so surprising is that Cliff didn't even notice it a few minutes earlier when he came home from an errand in his car. Holden is the type of kid who usually surprises me with how sharp he is. And he knows when he knows something. But this was something I could have easily blown off. I told Cliff later I was glad I trusted him. Otherwise, I would have had a dead battery the next day. Trust is a really cool thing to have with a four year old.

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