Time flies

Time is going by very quickly here. I am not sure how much I will be able to post over the next month. A lot of cool things are happening in the lives of my boys. And some difficult things are going on for us as a family too. Cliff is leaving for Iraq soon and it is hard to think of anything else at the moment when he is here. He is set to leave in less than a month and emotions are running high. We take a lot less for granted and know nothing will ever be the same for us very soon. We have people throwing us parties and well wishes coming from all over. The support has been awesome. Cliff broke down a few times this weekend and he is having a harder time than I am. I can't imagine what he is going through mentally. All I can say is that I adore him and will do all I can to help him get through the next month. I won't get into specifics but we are handling everything as well as can be expected. He is back in Sioux City, NE for this week and will come home early on Friday. He has to work for the Navy Reserves this weekend and he has a lot of things he is doing to prepare for next month. It is extremely busy and somewhat stressful time for us. But we are making the most of it. I shed some tears this past weekend as well and I am letting myself be human. My kids will never see me not being a person with feelings and emotions. We try to choose kindness and kind words over negative ones, but some days the truth hangs out all over the place.

Not too long ago I got out a calendar and tried to explain to Holden how long a year is since that is at least how long Cliff will be gone. He seemed to understand a little. Last night before bed he asked me to hug him--something he does a lot. Camden has been coming up to me a lot and hugging me. We have always been a close family and now we are even more close. The boys love their dad very much but I know this next year will be so hard on them and confusing. I can't explain to Camden (2.5) why is dad can't come home. I will need the patience of 50 moms and eyes like an eagle and ears like a dog this next year. It is going to change us all in so many ways. Some say this next year will be harder on me than anyone and some say it will be hardest on Cliff. No one knows for sure and it really doesn't matter. What is just is. As much as I hate what is happening and how little control we have over our life right now, I am trying to be graceful and loving. It is harder than hell some days.

There have been a lot of Kodak moments here but I am trying to savor the moments so much that I don't want to stop to photograph them. I want to sear these precious times to my memory. Hopefully this week I will get some pictures of the boys to share. We have at least one cool thing planned. I will share it, if I get a chance. Both boys are learning and growing in many ways that we are so excited about. That is always important to us but I forget to write them down as they happen and there are so many cool things that it is hard to remember them all. Cliff keeps telling me he knows how fortunate we are to have such smart and adorable boys. They blow his mind. He complimented me in front of some friends last weekend by saying I was the best mom and how much he loves me. He went on and on. It almost made me cry.

Cliff will be getting a lap top and reading our blog and looking at the pictures I upload (he has informed me of this intention). This blog will be a good way to keep him informed on our lives while he is gone. Please bare with us and I hope this blog will be helpful to anyone curious about how unschoolers/homeschoolers and every day people deal with some very tough issues in life. I know I will need to be careful about what I write too for, Cliff's sake. So those of you who know me in real life will get the uncensored version. Those of you who know me, understand what I mean. I am not the sort of person who holds things back. I wonder if I will change that trait?

Hugs and kisses to all!!