Saturday, October 14, 2006
Fire (knives) bugs (guns)
So what happens when you have boys that love fire, knives, and bugs as well as any other sharp or shooing object? Do you forbid it or hide it? We have tried that. Kids are naturally drawn to all those things. They will still be passionate about those things when we are not looking (with friends or anytime we turn our backs) and this is dangerous. We believe it is best to fascilitate a safe learning environment with adult supervision.
We have been making fires in our wood burning stove this week but the smoke is bothersome to our throats and eyes. So tonight Holden begged to light a candle instead of make a fire. We didn't have any candles. I was going thru some junk to donate and I wanted to blow him off. I could have said no and told him it was time for bed or something lame. Instead I told him to ask his dad to take him to Dollar General. Cliff didn't want to go so I ended up going with Holden.
It was fun to take time out to do something together. We had a good time looking thru the candles together and he paid for his with his own money. It was under $1.25.
This week we found some toy cowboy guns and they really enjoyed those. I don't see this as promoting guns or violence. I am letting them have a creative outlet and time to play. They do a lot of imaginative play with their guns. They laugh a lot and run around. It's a lot of fun to watch. I like supporting my kids' needs to explore these avenues. I feel if I were to deprive my kids of these experiences they would miss out on being normal and happy kids. I want them to be able to be honest with me and know I take them seriously. If and when they ever happen upon a real gun or matches I know they will come tell me. They tell me everything and show me their finds now. They have nothing to fear from me or to hide. This is the way we like it!
Holden has a wooden Swiss Army knife. He has been using it very responsibly. He has had it over a month now. It has lots of handy tools. Lately anytime we need a Phillips screwdriver we just ask Holden for his pocket knife. He loves this feeling of helping us and being handy. One day I was outside trying to open a paint can with nothing to pry it open with. Holden was riding his bike. I asked him if he had his knife and he opened his pouch on the back of his bike and brought me his knife. It was pretty cool. I didn't know he put his knife in there. Smart thinking!
Having a caring attitude toward my kids and listening to their wishes and desires has been a rewarding experience for my kids and for me too. It has taught us a lot about the minds of children. They may be little but they want to be trusted, listened to, and taken seriously. Holden gets very upset when we do not listen to his needs. I am thankful he is very articulate and expressive. Anytime he feels is not being taken seriously or listened to he lets us know! I am so grateful I have that sort of relationship with him. Camden is turning out to be a lot like Holden and very commanding of respect. He tells us if we hurt his feelings. Cliff and I are so in love with these kids!
I know when my boys are grown that no one will walk all over them and they are learning to listen to children and take them seriously. How I treat my kids now will effect the rest of their lives. If I don't respect them and listen to them, who will? If I don't understand them, will anyone else? I don't want them to run to friends or strangers for love, respect, affection, and more. My boys know where to get love and who will listen to them. We will.