Growing up isn't always easy

Gee, this could be a long story. Now that I am getting past my mid-thirties I am starting to revisit some interesting junctures in my life. I am starting to spend a lot less time worrying about the past. I mostly laugh about it all and am grateful for where I am now. Not that my past is anything I regret.

I grew up in Houston, Texas. But I didn't really grow up entirely until I had children. And even then I still had, and have, a lot of growing (up) to do. The places I've lived or been don't really matter. But the people I have come into contact have meant a lot to me.

I thought I had life all figured out a few times along the way, only to later realize I was way off base, and had a long way to go. Some of the highlights were when I was a teenager. Another time I felt I had life figured out was when I was going to college in Montana to be near my future husband (Cliff) at the Great Falls Air Force base. I felt like I had really hit the big time taking out all those student loans to get some education. I was going to be a counselor and then I was going to be a social worker.

Then when I dropped out of college and moved to Iowa with my fiance, Cliff, and landed a good job making more than I would have as a social worker, I thought I was so lucky and on the right track to security. I worked my way through several non-profit jobs. I was a home health aide coordinator for awhile. Then I worked as an office manager at a church for 4 years. Cliff enrolled in college classes, took out loans, and we were heading toward financial security and planned to start a family when Cliff's education was complete. He started working as a computer programmer. We had it all planned out and were doing great.

Cliff finally earned his degree and we started trying to have a baby. I bought copies of baby magazines, baby name books, and "What to Expect When You're Expecting." It was only the best for me and my baby. I felt so prepared. We had a modest 3 bedroom tract house built in Austin, Texas. I was able to start working part time as a bank account manager. We found the perfect OBGYN to deliver the baby boy we were expecting. And then the most unthinkable thing happened...

to be continued