Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Preoccupied with double standards, Ike, and a date


I'm ready for bed. However, many new thoughts and wonders are bouncing in my head. They may come out messy and unedited before I publish.

Last night Holden (seven in December, but going on 20), INSISTED he wanted to get his ear pierced (and NOW). That made me want to crawl away and hide. It was something I never expected at this age. He asked about it almost two years ago and I was able to escape the deed. I am having to rethink a lot of things I thought I understood about myself and sons. I'm seeing some double standards for boys I have never had to think about much before. At his insistence he got his left ear pierced today at the mall, with his own money. He was happy as heck about it! I feel so proud that I honored his wishes. I talked about how I was afraid people would treat him differently. He didn't seem worried at all. He didn't even flinch when the earring drove into his lobe. He is his own unique and wonderful person. To him getting his ear pierced was nothing unusual. It is not unusual for girls. Why is it so for boys or men? He has ALWAYS loved jewelry. He asked me over and over what type of gold his earring is, so he could remember. His learning and living are intertwined so deeply that the two can not be separated.

On another note, I've been quite busy on the phones the past few days with family in Texas who are dealing with the Ike aftermath. I'm lucky I get to talk to them, and get first hand information. I have a lot compassion for why some of the coastal people didn't leave, and what they are going through. As hard as I try to explain it to people they just don't understand. It is not something one can understand unless they have lived through it. It is interesting to hear ways people are helping each other. And I never realized without electricity (DUH) the gas pumps can't work. My sister drove a long way today to get gas so her husband can have gas to go work, which is at least a two hour commute each day. She had to hand wash their laundry and some other interesting things today.

Today Cliff and I went to couple therapy for a second time. We have been trying to sort through some grief issues and other issues from the past. We are better than we have ever been. But since we are almost all each other has for support, we want to take good care of what we do have in our marriage. The person counseling us is a man, and he is really awesome. He and his wife homeschool and he is very compassionate.

After our session tonight we went out to eat and then on an hour hike. Cliff was reluctant about the hike, but once we got there he was glad we went. We went at a good pace. We saw lots of white tailed deer moving for the evening. Well, at least Cliff saw them and pointed them out to me. It was a nice date, and a beautiful evening. I was surprised the mosquitoes were not bad at all.

That is all I can muster at the moment. I am going on five hours sleep and I am feeling it. May you be free from suffering. May you be happy and well.

~Heather
xoxox

All photos on this post were taken by Camden (4 years old soon) in the past two weeks, except one photo that I took a few weeks ago at a county park of these cool tree roots. Holden's foot is to the right of the tree to get an idea of how large the tree is.

2 comments:

Sharon said...

Kudos on allowing Holden to make that decision for himself. That speaks volumes about your understanding and respect for him.

And great job with the photos Camden!!!

Snavleys said...

Good job mom! Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that our kids are their own little selves and we don't want to mold them into something we envisioned them to be. I'm sure he will always remember that he was honored on that day. And if he ever decides he doesn't want that earring in his ear he can just take it out:)