Staying sane and staying warm

It's been nice to have our van back! We've been getting out every few days for just a bit--library, grocery store, Dollar General, and haircuts. But it has been way Burr for the most part. It is going to get a bit warmer and snow a few inches the next few days. We had about 5"of snow on Tuesday. Luckily, my neighbors shoveled us. It was very cold and I was so glad I didn't have to go anywhere or shovel!

We probably would have gone more places in the mornings but we were waiting around for the person who was supposed to help us finish the drywall in the basement and paint. The first day he called and the second day he was a no show. So now we have a different person set for next week. I am keeping my fingers crossed. All wasn't lost though. I got a lot of cleaning, decluttering, and bagging of unwanted items and toss outs accomplished. It made me feel good to do those things. I'm hoping to have the For Sale sign up within a month or by April 1.

We have been doing a lot of baking this week and building with Legos. A neighbor gave us some starter friendship bread and we baked it on Monday. On Wednesday we baked cookies and had the leftovers for breakfast the next morning. They were hard and we dipped them in milk. I made a Lego Elephant today and it was a lot harder to do than I thought it would be. I was sad we could not go to a V-day party we were invited to today. But as it turns out we could have anyway! The little boy I watch went home right after school as his family was home. Such as life. They are not very good at calling me to let me know when they don't need me. Ugh! We got some errands done though and another neighbor boy stayed with us for a bit as his family was not home for him. His infant brother was in the hospital and so his mom was not there. His dad was running behind from picking up his other brother from preschool. But if I weren't home there were other people home who could have helped him.

I've been listing furniture items on Craigslist in our area. I am trying to get some things sold so when we start painting and are ready to move we don't have to move, store or sell them then. I am gung ho about getting some traveling in before this baby comes. Holden is ready to go too! Cliff is still going to Iraq for the Navy Reserves. My family is wondering what I am going to do with 2 young kids, a newborn/infant, and a husband in Iraq? It is not an easy thing to wrap my brain around either. The boys miss their dad to the point of tears already and they see him once a week on weekends. Almost every night Holden says he wants to cry because his dad is not here. It is gut wrenching. I just keep thinking this can't be happening and he won't really have to go in July.

So I've been really stressed out and trying to keep busy. It is all I can do and I don't even care if I over do it. I'll go crazy if I just sit here and worry. The boys are a huge source of joy when they get along. I try to give them lots of mommy time so they don't act out. But being cooped up this winter has been hard on us all.

Holden told me today he wanted to learn how to read. So we got some easy readers from the library and we have some we own. He said he is excited about learning. It all came up while we were watching Between the Lions on TV. It wasn't something I was trying to push. I asked him how he would feel if he were in school and forced to learn how to read before he was ready? And I said some schooled kids have problems from being forced. He wanted to know what kinds of problems. And I said, "like hating to read." And I also said, "how would you feel if I forced you to sit at the table to learn how to read?" He shocked me when he said he'd be happy. So tonight we read a book he picked out and we'll read it again tomorrow to see if he remembers any of the words...which I know he will. He has been playing lots of games on the computer and Camden can play a Reader Rabbit computer game without help. I've played it with him and so has Holden. But he can actually do it alone too. I know Holden picks up a lot on his own. It is amazing. He has such a brain and he is so funny and caring too. Sometimes I worry I will make him feel like he has to help take care of me or Camden out of necessity because Cliff is not around. But he always says no when he doesn't want to do something. And I try to honor that.

This Saturday Cliff has to work and he is supposed to come home on Saturday night and we will have some family time on Sunday and Monday, if he takes Monday off. The boys are excited about our plans and I hope it all works out! Lots going on here...I want to post some pics or a video but I gotta get going...peace and love to all! Sorry for all the typos and grammar errors. I don't have time to fix them all now or ever probably.